Judy Shepard & Adam Lambert
Filed Under (article ) by Admin on Thursday, February 25, 2010
Posted at : Thursday, February 25, 2010
I am sitting across from Judy Shepard. More than a decade after her 21-year-old son Matthew was brutally murdered in Laramie, Wyoming, we are face to face for the second time.
We first met on the 10th anniversary of the vicious homophobic attack against her child. Talking about the attack is as appalling now as it was the first time I heard about it. That first interview was a professional test for me: try not to choke up while reliving it with the woman who, after her brutalized son, felt the worst pain.
This time Shepard is in Toronto to speak to students at York University and to promote her book, The Meaning of Matthew – My Son’s Murder in Laramie and a World Transformed. It is time to tell her family’s story, Shepard says. And she wants to clear up misconceptions about her son “that aren’t fair to Matthew.” Shepard is anyone’s mother; she is stronger than her small frame suggests, she is world-weary and she is, as she puts it, “on a crusade.”
One day before my talk with Shepard I am speaking with arguably the world’s most flamboyant gay star, the in-your-face American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert, as far a cry from the gay folk hero that is Matthew Shepard as you can imagine.
We’re taping our interview in an upscale west-end hair salon where Lambert is shooting a segment for one of those “make me look like a celebrity” shows; a kid in a salon chair is sacrificing his own appearance to beome like his queer idol.
While waiting for Lambert, I watch as the kid has his nails painted (steel grey). A cosmetics company pops by to bestow upon him a bag of its products, including moisturizer with just a bit of glitter and new mascara. I take to Twitter and post my observations.
Instantly, my Twitter feed goes mad. I am informed of new follower after new follower, Glamberts who need to know more. National Post messages me for more “cuticle intel”; everyone, I realize more than ever before, is gloriously mad for Lambert, a gifted peacock.
Lambert turns out to be a fun chat who possesses the soft charm of a humble small-town boy (from say, Laramie, Wyoming) who is quite comfortable on the joy ride to making it big. We spend time on a topic I’m obsessed with: what it means to be a real man in 2010. Lambert loves not having to answer another damned question about how he faux-sucked cock on that award show, and we discuss the idea of taking people further in their thinking about masculinity than they’ve ever gone before — just through the power of staying true to ourselves.
On Twitter afterwards, I see my tweets about the glam god have been heavily re-tweeted, and my blog enjoys an avalanche of new hits as global fans rush to see photos and find out when they can hear and see our conversation. Amazing, I think, on the drive back to my office. Amazing, because so many of Lambert’s fans are teenagers and young adults — it’s this new generation that’s lighting up my Twitter page and blog, squealing for more. They don’t care that he’s gay, they especially love that he’s flamboyant, and they see it as a wonderful example that this marvelous man lives his life authentically.
Fast-forward one day, and here I am with the drained but determined activist Judy Shepard. We discuss her iconic son, now and forever frozen in time as that lovely, soulful blond boy (who was “far from perfect,” Shepard assures me). His image seems light years from that of the over-the-top Adam Lambert.
Shepard and I discuss how homo hatred is taught first in the home, and I can’t help but think of all the truly rabid fans who are today loving the very out, very queer Adam Lambert. If they don’t already, likely one day soon they will have families and homes where they will teach the next generation lessons of love and hate.
It’s such a beacon of hope, to me, anyway, as I sit across from Judy Shepard. Hope that the work done in the aftermath by this heartbroken mother will give Matthew’s murder meaning and help move us to a place where the likes of Adam Lambert, you, me and all who follow can lead lives free of the specter of hate that took her son.
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13 comments:
Beautiful article. So lovingly written. Thank You.
It's a long road. Hopefully, we're making progress.
Love the article, hate the word queer. The word has been used so often by haters that it denotes a negative. It is the one negative in a very positive article.
Great article- Matthew's is a terrible story I'll never forget. My son was only a baby when it happened and now he's a tweenage fan of Adam's. We've had several conversations about sexuality since we became Adam fans and you know what? Kids don't care that he's gay they just like to listen to him sing and watch him perform- he's a rockstar! Adam probably didn't plan on changing the way America perceives a gay man but he sure is making an impact!
Bravo to Matthew's mom for carrying on her crusade- it must be soo hard.
I want to reiterate what Barbara said, and add that the use of the word q_ _ _r is as bad as the N word.
In your future writings about Adam, or for that matter anyone else, try focusing on their talent not the super personal aspect of their life. Never use the Q word when writing or talking about Adam Lambert. It's the hallmark of a homophobe. I'm sorry I ever read this article because it troubles me on several levels.
Poster above me....You said it all for me. I guess gays and blacks feel empowered to be able to call each other by the names that we (who are not gay or black) would never say or we would be defined as racist or homophobes. I too find those words repulsive. The "q" word in this particular article is disquieting to me and especially disrespectful of Ryan and his grieving mother.
@Barbara
I dunno I am Gay and I feel the gay community has "owned" the word queer as much as it can be owned by now. "Queer As Folk" for example.
I think the "d-word"(for lesbians) and the very common "f-word"(for gay men) are FAR MORE offensive.
I really don't have a problem with the word "queer" but it really does depend on the context.
truly the homophobes attitude is always taught at home. i am glad i have changed my attitude especially when i came to like adam.
There is a negative connotation with the word, "queer". Look in the dictionary.
The gay community needs to stop using it for their own good, as well.
This article is beautifully written. I could not read it without tears streaming down my face.The horrible loss for this mom and courage it takes for all who do not "fit the mold" to live their lives as everyone else does. The language the author uses makes an impact. People are gravitated to Adam (not for his sexual orientation) but his" Free to be ME" spirit.
It is inspirational and liberating for young and old alike. "It is never to late to be what you might have been"-George Eliot
I was crying too. This is wonderfully written and the story about matthew and his mother. Kudos to her to fight to make justice. I have a biseual best friend, a bisexual mom and a homosexual uncle. I have never thought twice about it but as soon as I entered high school I realized that I had to keep quiet. I was not ashamed of my mother or uncle, but I have heard horrible things said in my school, and I never want my family to be the subject of that. It would hurt way to much.
Also I can't stand those so hateful of homosexuality they would kill. I respect if someone does not LIKE Homosexuals, though I do not agree. I do NOT respect when a person is verbally or physically hurting gays and lesbians for being who they are.
I've also noticed that many hate homosexuals in the name of religion. If that is the case, are some that murder in the name of religion as well? If so - and I am quoting from when we studie this in school, I am deeply agnostic and do believe religion is for me - they are going against their own religion, as one of the Commanents states that "thou shalt not kill". If this happens, I feel the homosexual would be less of a sinner than the killer (not a sinner at all in fact).
Also I heard one argument being that the bible states that a man should not lie with another man. But the bible states that one should not commit adultery, which it seems is happening more and more often these days, and who wants To bet that a fair amount is religious? I believe that Christians should improve themselves before turning on another.
Also I've hear people claimed homosexuality is a disease. If is not. It is a mindset. Homophobia is a disease if anything. Parents pass it to their kids, who will pass it down. It's an ugly disease that corrupts so many these days.
and kudos to Adam, there are fans who have become much more tolerant to homosexuals since you became a singer. No matter what you meant to do, you made a change in understanding and should be very proud of that. forever and always your biggest fan <3
~ Emmaline ~
To those offended by the word queer (not my favorite either), click onto the SOURCE link below the article, and tell them your opinion...not the person running this site who has nothing to do with the wording, and is just reprinting the article as a gift to all of us.
Also, the name of the source =
"Extra: Where Queers Conspire"
My favorite part of the article:
"everyone, I realize more than ever before, is gloriously mad for Lambert" + the bit about "this marvelous man". How lovely to hear others realize and articulate beautifully what we all know so dearly.
Very touching and real... Bless her and bless Adam for making a difference in this world.
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